Friday, February 26, 2016

I Want to See a Donald Trump v. John Cena Debate...


Trump: This guy. He talks about "hustle, loyalty, and respect" but his workrate is garbage, he steals his friends' girlfriends--true story, people, true story--and he buries every young talent that comes through WWE. The only thing he's good for is selling shirts and visiting Make-a-Wish kids. Seriously, look at that shirt, it's neon orange. It's embarrassing. And, by the way, John, I do WAY more charity work than you could ever do. I am a--
Cena: WHOA WHOA WHOA stop right there, jack! I can't take another WORD of this VERBAL FECES spewing from your lips cuz it's makin' ya breath reek worse than ya ASS, SON!
Trump: Don't talk to me about bad breath. This guy, you should smell--I wish you were up here to--I can smell his breath from here! It's disgusting. It's disgusting and to me--my position has always been that if you want to be president, you need good oral hygiene. I mean, hello?! That's a no-brain, right? And I'll tell you this right now: no one has better oral hygiene than me. No one.
Cena: YOU BETTA SLOW YOUR ROLL, JACK. YOU SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT ME BUT YOU WILL NOT INSULT THE GREAT PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY BY--
Trump: You're so defensive! Why is he so defensive?! He's clearly out of his mind. He's a loose cannon. Probably all jacked up on steroids like Chris Benoit. Yeah, that's a guy you want running the country...
Cena: *approaches Trump's podium while removing his shirt* [subtle, but intense; barely audible through Trump's podium mic] Brian Pillman was a loose cannon. I'm just a red-blooded American and I will never give up. I love this country more than--
Trump: Listen. Let me tell you something. I'm gonna tell you right now: NOBODY loves this country more than me. OK, pal? Nobody. You hear politicians talking all the time about this and that and the other but NONE of them love this country as much as I do. And this country loves me! Look at the ratings! Look at the polls! America loves me! Because they know--
Cena: *shoves Trump's podium into the third row and goes nose-to-nose, making the angriest, huffiest face possible*
Trump:










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