Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Fake Fighting Frenzy -- "Vundablog Goes to WrestleMania!" (Series): Top 7 Dream WrestleMania Entrances!



Welcome to a new series of posts here on Vundablog.com called "Vundablog Goes to WrestleMania!" Last year, I (Derrick) finally achieved the lifelong dream of attending a WrestleMania and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. So I decided "hey, what the hell, why not do it again?" With WrestleMania this year being in the hometown of one of my best friends, we decided we would make the trip and I couldn't be more excited.

So I decided that this year, instead of just making one post about it way too late, I would share my excitement on the Road to WrestleMania with all you wonderful Vundaholics through a series of WrestleMania-themed blog posts. We begin with Dream WrestleMania Entrances! Everyone knows that one of the most gloriously ridiculous and wonderful things about WrestleMania is the entrances. Shawn Michaels zip-lining down from the rafters at WrestleMania XII. Undertaker at WrestleMania XIV, XX, and XXIX (and pretty much all of the others). John Cena at WrestleMania XXII and XXV. Triple H at WrestleMania XXII, XXVII, and XXXI. Shawn Michaels ascending from heaven and Undertaker rising from hell at WrestleMania XXV. Rusev entering on a F*CKING TANK at WrestleMania XXXI.

Ahem. Sorry. I get a little carried away. Anyway...

Since I'm going to WrestleMania again this year, obviously one of the most exciting things is going to be all the awesome entrances. This could very well be the Undertaker's last WrestleMania hurrah, and it's Hell in a Cell, so you gotta think they'll go all out for that. Triple H is in the main event, so obviously he'll do something fun. But who else could do an amazing WrestleMania entrance this year in Dallas? Here are my fantasy bookings for my ultimate dream WrestleMania entrances for a few of my favorite wrestlers...


7. Samoa Joe
Picture This, If You Will: Six big Samoan dudes in traditional Samoan ritual gear march out on stage with drums strapped to their shoulders and line up three on each side and play a crazy drum intro for Samoa Joe before Joe's music hits and they start drumming along to it as Joe enters.

6. Sasha Banks
Picture This, If You Will: As Sasha's music hits, a motorcade of Escalades rolls down the ramp. Two big, burly black men emerge from each Escalade. All except the two from the last Escalade lay down face down next to each other in front of the first Escalade. The two from the last Escalade get out and open the back door and carry Sasha out on their shoulders. They lower her onto the backs of the men on the ground and they provide human stepping stones for her a la Poison Ivy in Batman and Robin, leading her all the way up to the ring.

5. Tyler Breeze
Picture This, If You Will: An extended intro to Tyler's music is heard. Slowly, as paparazzi trickle out from the sides below the stage and crowd the ramp, you realize that this isn't a taped intro, that these paparazzi are miked. Suddenly one of them yells: "LOOK, EVERYONE! IT'S TYLER!" and Tyler's music hits. Tyler emerges in an insane high fashion outfit complete with a massive fluffy boa and trailed by a line of supermodels both male and female.

4. Roman Reigns
Picture This, If You Will: From out in the crowd, filing out of every exit in the lower level, dozens upon dozens of men dressed as mercenaries file down the steps and gather on either side of the ramp. Then a live band kicks into Roman's music and they follow as he walks down the ramp, surrounding the ring as he enters before backing away and jumping the railings to return where they came from.

3. Sami Zayn

Picture This, If You Will: The Bouncing Souls sprint on stage and launch into "OlĂ©," Sami Zayn's old entrance music during his days on the independent circuit, wrestling as El Generico. As the guitars start to rev up, a group of punk rockers skanks onto the stage, forming a circle pit. Right as they're coming to the first verse, the song seamlessly transitions into Sami Zayn's theme music. Sami skanks out onto the stage, joining the circle pit for a bit and then making his way down the ramp.

2. New Day
Picture This, If You Will: A full brass band. Need I say more?

1. Finn Balor
Picture This, If You Will: Smoke fills the stage as the intro to Finn's music plays. You see something rising from beneath the smoke. A bunch of things. They're people. They're sitting in chairs wearing suits. Most of them are, anyway. There's a few standing up that are wearing street clothes. Then a massive figure emerges. It's taller than any human being could be and more menacing. The smoke drops and a live band kicks into Finn's music as Finn reveals a full demon suit complete with huge wings and claws, crazy headgear, and full head-to-toe body paint and STILTS. Then a full orchestra joins in with the live band on Finn's music and plays him down as he creeps down the ramp to the ring.

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