CAPTAIN AMERICA'S NEW THEME SONG! (PARODY)

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Captain America won the weekend box office and our hearts this weekend. So enjoy this Captain's orders.

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Week 4

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-Can we officially shut the fuck up about Jake Locker now? I don't care if he was playing the Pittsburgh Steelers, 4-20 for 71 yards, a TD, and 2 INTs is unacceptable. If you take away a 45 yard TD strike to Jermaine Kearse, he was 3-19 for 26 yards and 2 INTs. He's got lots of talent and I'm sure he's a perfectly decent kid but the idea that Locker is the ultimate prospect in this year's NFL Draft is inexplicable. His Heisman campaign is obviously deader than dead at this point and I see no reason that he won't be the next Tim Couch. -Here's a random one: Kansas is down 31-10 to Southern Miss...they score a touchdown with 5:17 left in the game...and go for two?! Uh...what? Who did the math on that one? What possible scenario are they planning for? Are they planning cut the deficit to 13 instead of 14 in hopes that, in the event that they have to settle for two field goals at some point, they can still tie the game (with the addition of another touch...
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#TBT -- Classic Simpsons: "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer" (Season 8, Episode 9)

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Episode 3F24 Original Airdate: 1/5/1997 Writer: Ken Keeler Director: Jim Reardon Commentary by: Matt Groening, George Meyer, Jim Reardon, Josh Weinstein (with his kids Simon and Molly) Synopsis Fearful that Homer will drunkenly embarrass her yet again at the annual chili cook-off, Marge tries to keep him from finding out about it. When he does, she makes him promise he won't drink any alcohol. credit:  SimpsonsGIFs However, when Homer comes face-to-face with "the merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango" ("Grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum."), he begins a psychedelic journey he won't soon forget. Or maybe he will immediately. Who's to say, really?
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Week 6

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I should be doing this shit for a living...this is what last week looked like for me... -The Good: Oh, lordy, where do I begin. WELL. I was pretty much the only one in the country that realized Virginia Tech is still significantly better than North Carolina State. I was also pretty much the only one in the country that knew Florida wouldn't even come close against Alabama (the trendy phrase on ESPN last weekend was "Florida will keep it closer than a lot of people might think"). I nailed my Upset of the Week, picking Michigan State over Wisconsin--pretty much the only one who picked that one too. I also picked Iowa and Oklahoma but those were easy. Plus I nailed the Tulane/Rutgers spread (Rutgers was favored by 17.5 and LOST). -The So-So: Pretty much the only thing that belongs in this category is the fact that I picked Oregon over Stanford but I only picked them to win by 3 points. Not great considering they won by 21...but sort of misleading considering Stanford...
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