Saturday, December 21, 2013

Hobbitcore's College Football Corner (BOWL EDITION!!!)

That's right, ladies and gentleman, it's that time again. What time is it, you ask? IT'S THE MOST...WONDERFUL TIIIME...OF THE YEEEAR.

It always bugs me when people talk about how these games don't matter. Those people just don't truly "get" college football. I have a feeling they're the kind of people that prefer pro football and just watch college football because it's more football. Tell Colorado State and Bowling Green it doesn't matter. Tell Navy and Brigham Young. This is the biggest game many of these teams will play all year. It's a chance to attract recruits. It's a chance to celebrate their seasons by playing on national television in a game that--with a few exceptions--is the only football game on television. Two fan bases travel across the country and pack a stadium at a neutral site for this celebration that swirls around the high holidays like a magical Christmas snow. New Year's Day bowl games are a sacred ritual. But I think it was Chuck Klosterman who put it best:

"I like college football. I like college football as an entity more than I like knowing who is (supposedly) 'the best' amateur football team in the United States. People used to bemoan the thought of a mythical national champion, but it all seems mythical to me. It still does, and it always will. I don't need to pretend that I know the unknowable. If you want a playoff system, it might just mean you want to feel as though football has a clear sense of order. You probably enjoy feeling as though you know who is No. 1, because that's what really matters to you. But maybe you like college football as an experience a little less than you think."

I couldn't agree more, Chuck. It is in that spirit that Vundablog presents our special BOWL EDITION of Hobbitcore's College Football Corner...

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Hobbitcore's College Football Corner (Week 15: CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK)

OK, I have to admit, I wasn't planning on writing one of these this week. I've been sickly busy with school shit and just wasn't feeling up to it. But I just had to cap off the season strong and I couldn't just not say anything about quite possibly one of the greatest games ever played last week.

It was already the biggest, most important Iron Bowl ever with the highest combined ranking of the two teams and the first time ever that the game would literally decide who goes to the SEC championship game. It was already one of the best games in a generation when Auburn overcame a 21-7 deficit and a soul-crushing 99 yard TD pass to tie it up at 28 and seemingly send it into overtime. happened. What some are calling the greatest ending in the storied history of college football. Better, even, than the fabled "Band Is on the Field" Cal/Stanford ending in 1982.

The sports media is often (rightly) accused of being prisoners of the moment. Every time something amazing happens, it's not just amazing, it's the most amazing thing ever. In this case, however, they may be right. Think about some of the greatest endings in college football history. "The Play" (Cal/Stanford) was incredibly improbable but it happened between two 5-4 teams and the only thing at stake was a trip to the Holiday Bowl. The 2007 Fiesta Bowl featured a slew of incredible trick plays and did wonders for the legitimacy of non-BCS schools but it was still basically a meaningless bowl game. Tom Osbourne and #1 Nebraska going for two in the 1984 Orange Bowl against Miami was epic and poetic but also fairly pedestrian as far as actual football plays go.

This game, on the other hand, is unquestionably one of the two biggest rivalry games in college football (along with Ohio State/Michigan), featured #1 Alabama, well on their way to an unprecedented third consecutive championship, and #4 Auburn, fresh off the "Prayer at Jordan-Hare," already carrying a "team of destiny" air about them and dying to ruin their hated rival's chances at a three-peat. The improbability of the play itself, though helped along by Bama failing to fan out and cover their lanes, is hard to dispute. And, of course, the epic call by Auburn announcer Rob Bramblett (and the screaming in the background of his coworkers) really cements the timelessness of this unforgettable moment in college football history. Witnessing it live on television was truly an honor. I can only imagine what it must have been like to be there.

BUT ANYWAY...there's a whole 'nother week of football to play...SOOO...

SEC Championship Game -- Atlanta, GA
4:00pm -- #5 Missouri vs. #3 Auburn -- CBS

I have to admit I've been underrating Missouri all year, especially their defense, which showed up to shut down Johnny Manziel last week. They also have an offense that can give Auburn significantly more problems than any they've faced all year. Still, as much as Missouri seems like the they're far and away the logical pick here, I just can't bring myself to go against a Team of Destiny.

Hobbitcore sez: Auburn

Pac-12 Championship Game
7:45pm -- #7 Stanford @ #11 Arizona State -- ESPN

This is actually a rematch of a 42-28 Stanford win. That one was at Stanford, though, whereas this will be at Sun Devil Stadium. I never much like the winning teams of rematches and ASU's D will play better at home and I think the Sun Devil's just have too much versatility on offense for Stanford's big, heavy defense.

Hobbitcore sez: Arizona State

ACC Championship Game -- Charlotte, NC
8:00pm -- #20 Duke vs. #1 Florida State -- ABC

You really have to take your hat off to David Cutcliffe for what he's done with the Blue Devils in recent years, bringing them from doormat to division champ. They'll scrape and claw to stay in a game that should be a shootout for a while but eventually the Noles just have too much talent for the Dukies.

Hobbitcore sez: Florida State

Big Ten Championship Game -- Indianapolis, IN
8:17pm -- #2 Ohio State vs. #10 Michigan State -- FOX (UPSET ALERT)

This is going to be a good one. Ohio State's offense vs. Michigan State's defense will be a sight to see and I really think Sparty matches up well with the Buckeyes' power running game. It will definitely be a defensive struggle which plays into Sparty's hands big time. And seeing as how the Upset Hobbit and I truly believe Auburn is a Team of Destiny, we feel convinced that the pieces will fall into place for them to slide on into the BCS title game.

The Upset Hobbit sez: Michigan State

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Hobbitcore's College Football Corner (Week 14: RIVALRY WEEK)

That's right, ladies in gentlemen, it's the second MOOOST WONDERFUL WEEEEEK OF THE YEEEAR! (next to Bowl Week, which is slowly approaching) So, let's not waste any time!

Last Week
Overall: 2-3
Upsets: 1-3

Overall: 51-19
Upsets: 11-10

12:00pm -- #2 Florida State @ Florida -- ESPN

This is easily my favorite season in Gator history. And it's not getting any better today. FSU is favored by 28.5 and I would take them with the spread in a heartbeat. If they don't hang at least half a hundred on the Gators, the Buckeyes should play for the national title.

Hobbitcore sez: Florida State

12:00pm -- #3 Ohio State @ Michigan -- ABC

On paper, this one looks like a blowout too but I'm not sure the Buckeyes are the world-beaters everyone thinks they are and the Big House is always rocking for the biggest game of the year. This one could be closer than the experts think, at least for a while. I'm not ready to wake up the Upset Hobbit but he did mumble something about "don't count out the Wolverines" in his sleep sooo...

Hobbitcore sez: Ohio State

3:30pm -- #1 Alabama @ #4 Auburn -- CBS (UPSET ALERT)

This is a really, REALLY tough game to pick. Auburn runs the ball like no one else in the country but Alabama is built to stop the run. The most success teams have had against the Tide this year has been picking on their inconsistent secondary. The thing is, Auburn's running game is at its best when they're able to pepper in some effective throws when the opponent starts to creep up to the line of scrimmage. Alabama's offense has also been inconsistent but Auburn's defense has been as well. The Upset Hobbit keeps whispering "team of destiny" in my ear after the "Prayer at Jordan Hare" two weeks ago. This game is also at Jordan-Hare so, against my better judgment, I'm going with my gut on this one.

Hobbitcore sez: Auburn

7:00pm -- #6 Clemson @ #10 South Carolina -- ESPN2

This is probably the most underrated rivalry game of all and this year's edition is going to be the best game you'll see on ESPN2 all year. Clemson has been quietly doing everything they've needed to do since getting blown away by FSU while South Carolina has kind of stumbled through their schedule, losing to Tennessee with close calls against Kentucky, UCF, and Florida. I have to go with Tajh Boyd in this one.

Hobbitcore sez: Clemson

7:00pm -- #25 Notre Dame @ #8 Stanford -- FOX

There's no reason I can imagine that Notre Dame might win this game. Stanford's defense will smother the Irish.

Hobbitcore sez: Stanford

7:45pm -- #21 Texas A&M @ #5 Missouri -- ESPN

As much as I'd love to pick Mizzou at home here against a shaky Aggie D, playing for a birth in the SEC title game, I think Mizzou's D is shakier and Johnny Manziel will be playing with a lot to prove. If it really is the thumb that's still bothering him, then I'm going to look stupid again but I'm going with Johnny Football.

Hobbitcore sez: Texas A&M

8:00pm -- #22 UCLA @ #23 USC -- ABC

This should be a great one. Two very solid, complete teams in a bitter rivalry. Neither team is in contention for the Pac-12 title game but there's more than enough to play for in this one. One has momentum on its side and the other just lost a heartbreaker that eliminated them from the Pac-12 title picture and the other has won 5 in a row. I'm taking the latter (USC) because the way they've responded to interim head coach Ed Orgeron has been amazing. If they win this one, it should be a no-brainer that he gets named the permanent head coach of the Trojans. I think they win this one for him.

Hobbitcore sez: USC

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Hobbitcore's College Football Corner (Week 13)

Another week, another upset or two I wish I had pulled the trigger on. And another embarrassing Canes loss. This has been a bit of a rough week for me and I've been pretty busy so I'm sure glad it's Saturday and I know I can't let my four or five adoring fans down!

Last Week
Overall: 2-2
Upsets: 1-1

Overall: 49-16
Upsets: 10-7

3:30pm -- #12 Texas A&M @ #22 LSU -- CBS (UPSET ALERT)

This is a really tough pick. Two high powered offenses facing inconsistent defenses. LSU is 31-2 at home in the last five years (and favored by 5, surprisingly) but Johnny Manziel is undefeated on the road in his career. It's heart v. head again--Upset Hobbit's heart is telling him Johnny Football will go out with something to prove in the Heisman race and break out to lead his team to victory but his head is saying that LSU is just too tough at home and too balanced on offense for A&M's defense. We've been going head way too often. This week, we're going heart.

The Upset Hobbit sez: Texas A&M

3:30 -- #19 Wisconsin @ #25 Minnesota -- ESPN (UPSET ALERT)

It blows my mind that the Gophers are a 16.5 point home underdog, especially the way they've been playing over their last four games, since losing head coach Jerry Kill who is nursing his epilepsy after a seizure the morning of the Michigan game five weeks ago (a game Minnesota lost 42-13). As good as Wisconsin has looked this year, U.H. and I agree, you have to go with the inspired team with momentum on their side at home in a big rivalry game.

The Upset Hobbit sez: Minnesota

7:00pm -- #17 Arizona State @ #14 UCLA -- FOX (UPSET ALERT)

Another surprising home underdog. These are two very similar teams but man it's really hard to go against quite possibly the most underrated player in the country (though that's quickly changing): Myles Jack. His power and explosiveness will be the difference against a Sun Devil defense that doesn't do so hot against the run. The Upset Hobbit is dancing his hairy little feet off.

The Upset Hobbit sez: UCLA

7:45pm -- #8 Missouri @ #24 Ole Miss -- ESPN

These two teams may be a little closer than it seems. I'm interested to see how Mizzou does defending the running game of Ole Miss. Still, I don't think the Rebels can handle the Tiger passing game. I think Mizzou wins a shootout.

Hobbitcore sez: Missouri

8:00 -- #4 Baylor @ #10 Oklahoma State -- ABC (UPSET ALERT)

This is going to be a barnburner. Two potent, balanced offenses will put up lots of points. I think Baylor's defense will make just enough plays to keep them in a tough road test but I just think that this is too much pressure for a team that has never had to deal with this kind of pressure on the road in primetime. I like Oklahoma State to pull off the upset, even though U.H. is giving me shit for picking against the Cinderella story of this college football season.

The Upset Hobbit (begrudgingly) sez: Oklahoma State

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Hobbitcore's College Football Corner (Week 12)

So, inevitably there comes a day when you just look stupid. For me, that day happened twice: last Thursday and last Saturday. It's funny because I used to take a lot more risks. A few years ago I probably would have picked Baylor and Stanford. Maybe I need to do some soul-searching and start taking more risks on this thing. Let's see what happens...

Last Week
Overall: 1-3
Upsets: N/A

Overall: 47-14
Upsets: 9-6

3:30pm -- #25 Georgia @ #7 Auburn -- CBS (UPSET ALERT)

The Upset Hobbit seems convinced that this will be a better game than it might seem with Georgia slowly returning to full strength. The key, obviously, will be Georgia's ability to defend Auburn's running game but there are other things to watch for as well. Upset Hobbit will be looking to see who makes the most mistakes, specifically who turns the ball over. A big part of the success of Auburn's running game is their ability to make big plays downfield when the defense starts to creep up. But Nick Marshall has been inconsistent throwing the ball and Georgia knows how to create turnovers. If this were in Georgia, Upset Hobbit would probably pull the trigger but in Jordan-Hare, Auburn will likely pull it out.

The Upset Hobbit sez: Auburn

3:30pm -- #12 Oklahoma State @ #24 Texas -- FOX

I really think people are making a little too much out of Texas's winning streak. They won a big, emotional game against Oklahoma but haven't been too impressive since then--especially last week, giving up 40 points to West Virginia. I think the Cowboys' offense is too much for an inconsistent Longhorn D.

Hobbitcore sez: Oklahoma State

3:30pm -- #23 Miami (FL) @ Duke -- ESPNU

Everyone needs to calm down. Canes fans and others alike. There are actually Canes fans calling for Golden to be fired for some reason. Sure, they haven't looked great against inferior teams and got shellacked by better teams but put this in perspective. This is a very young team that has had a cloud hanging over it for several years and still Golden has done an excellent job putting them in a position to win games. A 10 win season is still in reach and the future looks very bright. FSU may be the best team in the country and although the Virginia Tech loss was ugly, it was also in the pouring rain and they were missing their best player in Duke Johnson--not to mention #1 receiver Phillip Dorsett, who has been out since early in the year. I like the Canes to respond big in a must-win game.

Hobbitcore sez: Miami

8:00pm -- #4 Stanford @ USC -- ABC (UPSET ALERT)

This is another one that could be better than expected. USC has been improving and they match up well with the Cardinal. This will be a good old fashioned smash-mouth football game that will be closer than the experts think but ultimately the style will play to Stanford's strengths and they'll pick up the win.

Hobbitcore sez: Stanford

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I Never Thought I'd Want to High-Five a Teacher For Yelling at a Student, and I Was Right

So there's a video that's in the process of going viral right now and I'd like to say a word or two about it. I found it on Upworthy, which is pretty much the most prominent launchpad for liberal viral media. Here's the link to the post on Upworthy:

And here's the video itself:

SHAME IS NOT A TEACHING TOOL. SHAME IS NOT A TEACHING TOOL. SHAME IS NOT A TEACHING TOOL. I'll say it until I'm blue in the face. This made me sick to my stomach. For starters, did it ever occur to this woman that women (particularly women who don't look the way women are "supposed" to look--e.g. with an outward appearance that gives off some impression of queerness) are at least comparably open and vulnerable to oppression and persecution as are people of color? "You can change your hair" is a piss poor argument against people who are outwardly expressing the way they feel inside through their appearance. I get that people of color can't change their appearance but telling someone they have the "privilege" of being what society wants them to be instead of what they want to be in order to avoid persecution--um, yeah, that's still persecution. And OH, BY THE WAY, women CAN'T change their VERY VISIBLE appearance of being a woman any more than people of color can change theirs.

I don't know why this teacher felt the need to teach persecution and oppression by persecuting and oppressing and bullying her students and making them feel ashamed of their privilege but she's doing more harm than good. You can force people to acknowledge their privilege without rubbing their noses in it and alienating them. When this girl started to cry, she was feeling completely legitimate pain (wasn't that the whole point of the exercise?) but the teacher completely delegitimizes her pain with the horribly callous statement: "Martin Luther King was shot. Are you in any physical danger here?" Was she TRYING to get the kid to leave so that she could make some sanctimonious point about how she "chose" to leave? And why does she have to apologize for the way she reacted when the way she reacted is THE WHOLE POINT? You can say she "chose" to leave all you want, but you're the one who LITERALLY SENT HER OUT OF THE ROOM for not apologizing. You may think you're teaching people to understand racism and privilege but you're also teaching them victim-blaming. You're teaching them to make their point at all costs, even at the expense of others. You're teaching them that their pain and suffering has no value when compared to someone who has it worse. What the hell kind of lesson is that to teach our children?

Friday, November 8, 2013

Everything You Need to Know About Misogyny In One Blog Post

So there's this article that seems to be making its rounds around the internets at the moment by this unbearable douchebag by the name of "Roger Sterling, Jr." entitled "Why Girls Should Not Cut Their Hair Short." The article is written for a [sarcasm]seemingly very nuanced and classy[/sarcasm] blog called "Total Frat Move" where Mr. Sterling is a regular contributor. If the title of the article doesn't already have your blood boiling, stay tuned. It gets so much worse. (And I get that it seems a little petty to reprimand some random blogger but the sentiments he expresses are symptomatic of a much more comprehensive cultural problem we have in our society with patriarchy and body image and this article is a good excuse to talk about it.)

I guess I shouldn't be particularly surprised or outraged at what spews out of the fingertips of a guy who thinks he's a character on Mad Men--or at least the illegitimate son of one (this is his avatar for his blog posts and his Twitter feed)--but as a HUGE short hair aficionado (and, frankly, as someone who doesn't consider women objects placed on Earth for the pleasure of men), this made me nauseous. I'm finding it difficult to even process the nine thousand ways in which this is despicable so I'm just gonna go through and pick out the particularly wretch-inducing bits.

We start with the first line...

"None of us grew up looking at or imagining ourselves with women rocking a solid scissor fade."

So right off the bat, this is all about what men* find attractive. He denies it at the end of the article (more on that later) but that's really all this is about. Looking pretty for men. Making men like you. Finding a suitable male to hitch your wagon to and carry you through life on his broad, sculpted shoulders. Or whatever.

* - and by "men" of course I mean Roger Sterling, Jr. and the vastly-smaller-than-he-realizes population of "us" he seems to think he's speaking for

He then begins outlining this ostensibly "disturbing trend spreading across gender lines" of women he used to find attractive cutting their hair short. First he singles out Beyoncé with a photo of her looking pretty fucking adorable if you ask me. But then shit gets real when he goes after Jennifer Lawrence:

"Though every chick on the planet begs 'Can we just be best friends? Why is she perfect?', you’d only bang her if she lost ten pounds. Now, shedding some lbs. might not even do it. Lawrence didn’t go full-on pixie short, but the results are equally disastrous.

Should have cut her dessert instead."

First of all, I don't know what kind of ridiculous standards of female bodies are harbored by Mr. 1960s Misogynist but you look at that photo and tell me that you think Jennifer Lawrence needs to lose ten pounds. No, I mean literally tell me if you think that. It will save me the trouble of being friends with you or respecting your opinions in any way.

Secondly, and more importantly, Mr. Sterling: FUCK. YOU. You are the reason anorexia exists. You really think Jennifer Lawrence (OR ANYONE) ought to give a shit if you would "bang her"?! It's bad enough you're castigating women for the unforgivable crime of not being someone you want to have sex with and literally telling them what they should and shouldn't do with their bodies (in order to make you want to have sex with them), now you're implying that a perfectly healthy-looking woman should lose ten pounds in order that you may deem her worthy of your penis? How many different kinds of disgusting do you have to be to implicitly designate yourself as some sort of objective arbiter of what is and isn't sexually attractive--to the point where you're telling ME (and anyone reading this) that I would "only bang her if she lost ten pounds"? Don't even get me started on the dessert snipe. That kind of maliciously misogynistic cheap-shottery masquerading as light comedy has no place in human society.

But ANYWAY, now it's up to Mr. Sterling--or at least he certainly seems to think it is--to put a stop to this nefarious trend:

"Girls, I’m here to save you from yourself."


Here he is, ladies. Your Knight in Shining Armor. Mounted on his faithful steed and here to carry you away from the metaphorical castle tower that is your own control over your own body like the damsel in distress you are. All of you. Just make sure that you never forget that 1. you all need saving, 2. only a man can save you, and 3. you owe that man EVERYTHING for saving you.

God Bless You, Mr. Roger Sterling, Jr.

The next section of the article is entitled "If Celebrities Can't Pull It Off, You Can't" and starts off with this brilliant gem:

"As SFPL noted in his brilliant social commentary on high-waisted shorts, just because a celebrity or a supermodel can pull something off, does not mean you can. You might look at Rihanna and think That’s edgy. That’s worth aiming for, but she also rocks the 'I just got punched by my boyfriend' look, so her judgment is questionable at best."

Oh, good. I was wondering when we were going to get to the domestic violence victim-blaming portion of this ridiculous diatribe. Because apparently the only thing a woman can do that's worse than being fat (or 10 pounds overweight, or NOT OVERWEIGHT AT ALL) is being beaten up by her boyfriend.

He then, however, outlines why this argument doesn't even apply because even celebrities can't "pull off" (whatever THAT means) short hair, comparing spandex-clad Anne Hathaway in The Dark Knight Rises to short-haired Les Mis Anne Hathaway (who, by the by, CUT HER HAIR FOR A FILM ROLE) and a lip-licking Emma Watson (this guy talking about watching Watson "lick her lips" makes me cringe and shudder and gag simultaneously) with her new short-haired look.

In the next section, he proceeds to deconstruct the female form piece by piece (object by object, if you will) to enlighten women on the things guys notice and the things they don't notice "unless they're spectacular or spectacularly awful." This is the part where the man tells the woman what things about her a guy isn't supposed to notice--OBVIOUSLY "tits, ass, legs, and a couple other things" wouldn't make this list. (Why do I feel like he only put "a couple other things" because he couldn't think of anything other than tits, ass, and legs but didn't want to seem like he couldn't think of anything other than tits, ass, and legs?) Because obviously, other than tits, ass, and legs, women are supposed to be invisible. Nothing else about a woman should stand out. Not even her eyes unless "they look photoshopped in real life or if they are hanging out of their sockets."

For the final section, we really need to take it as a whole because it truly brings the whole thing to a close in spectacularly slimy fashion...

"If there are acceptable times for a lady to have short hair, it is at the two extremes of her life. My grandma has short hair and it fits her. My one-year-old cousin does, too, and that’s fine. The difference between them and you is that they have no one to impress. If you’re in the female sweet spot, between the ages of 18 and 28, you certainly do.

'But we don’t cut our hair for men, we cut it for ourselves!' the tired chorus cries out. This isn’t just about impressing guys, though. All of those odd insecurities you have about your looks are only highlighted with short hair. Other girls will notice them immediately as well. If you have bad teeth or some other sort of imperfection, with short hair, you’re putting it front and center. Even if you don’t have a glaring flaw, there’s one thing of which I’m sure: your face is going to look fat. Need further proof? Look at that picture of ole Jennifer Lawrence above and remember that she looked fine before."

Oh, where to begin with this slop. It really hammers home the thesis that the main reason girls shouldn't cut their hair short is because they have people (mainly men) to impress that are far more important than their own happiness and comfort with their own bodies. The best part is that he turns around an insists that this isn't just about impressing men. It's not so superficial as that. It's much deeper and more important. It's about impressing other women, too. It's about hiding all those glaring flaws that make you impossible to love instead of highlighting them. Most importantly, however--and you KNOW this is most important because it's the very last point he makes--cutting your hair short will make your face look fat. Just look at ole Jennifer Lawrence's cellulite ass. She looked fine before. Now she's unfuckable. And so are you.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Hobbitcore's College Football Corner (Week 11--THURSDAY EDITION)

So I've really been trying to avoid covering Thursday games this year because, frankly, as you've seen, it's hard enough to get this thing done by Saturday morning. This week, however, it was unavoidable as the two biggest games of the week are BOTH Thursday night games--one of them a matchup of two top ten teams and the other a meeting of two top five teams. Not including these would kinda defeat the purpose of this column so I'm coming at you early this week because I love you all and want you to be happy (or something).

ALSO THIS WEEK: I will be tweeting LIVE from the Miami/Virginia Tech game at Sun Life Stadium

Last Week
Overall: 4-0
Upsets: 0-1

Overall: 46-11
Upsets: 9-6


7:30pm -- #10 Oklahoma @ #6 Baylor -- FOX SPORTS 1

Baylor has been mighty impressive so far this year, averaging nearly 64 points PER GAME. But they still have yet to play a team with anything resembling a pulse and will now spend the next five weeks in the states of Oklahoma and Texas figuring out who they really are. As much as I would LOVE to see Baylor pull off this incredible dream season, they haven't faced anyone like the Sooners. Not even close. In fact, they struggled to put away an unranked Kansas State team that held onto the ball almost twice as long as the Bears. Not only is Oklahoma much better at ball control offense than anyone the Bears have faced, but their defense is holding opponents under 20 points per game. My heart says Baylor but my head is screaming Oklahoma.

Hobbitcore sez: Oklahoma


9:00 -- #3 Oregon @ #5 Stanford -- ESPN

I wanted so badly to pick Stanford in this game. I actually picked them to face Alabama in the national title game this year because the schedule lined up and Oregon had just lost Chip Kelly. Sadly, that has not been the story this year. Oregon has been scorching everyone on their schedule while Stanford has struggled to hang on against teams like Arizona State, Washington, UCLA, and Oregon State, even losing a game to Utah. On offense, they may actually be better than last year with the deep threat of Ty Montgomery but the defense at times this year has looked like a shadow of its former self. Oregon, on the other hand, has somehow improved in all aspects of the game, especially defense, where they've been holding opponents under 17 points per game. As tempting as it is to pick the Cardinal at home, I just can't do it.

Hobbitpick: Oregon 31, Stanford 23


7:00pm -- Virginia Tech @ #11 Miami (FL) -- ESPN

THIS IS WHERE WE PRETEND LAST WEEK DIDN'T HAPPEN. No but seriously. None of us didn't see that coming. The Canes are a young team and the Noles are outrageously talented. Still, as much as that one hurt, the outcome of that game meant very little in the Coastal Division standings compared to this one. The team that wins this controls their destiny in the Coastal and has the inside track to get to the ACC championship game (to borrow a few tired old sports cliches). The Canes may be down after a blowout loss to their biggest rival but Virginia Tech appears to be coming apart at the seams with back-to-back losses to Duke and Boston College following six consecutive wins. The Canes might have some trouble bringing Logan Thomas down but the secondary will have no trouble keeping up with VT's receivers and the Hokies' mediocre ground game will be a non-factor. The VT defense will keep them in it for a while and the lack of Duke Johnson will hurt a lot but the Canes will make enough big plays with a healthy Stephen Morris behind center and Dallas Crawford behind him to pull off the win.

Hobbitcore sez: Miami

8:00pm -- #13 LSU @ #1 Alabama -- CBS

Maaan this is a tough one. Last time Bama faced an elite QB, Johnny Football lit them up for 464 yards through the air, 279 of which were accounted for by Mike Evans on all of seven catches. Now they face a guy in Zach Mettenberger who is a much better pure passer, has several dangerous weapons at WR and Jeremy Hill to hand the ball to. If anyone is up to the task, it's the Tide defense who are flush with future pros (especially in the secondary) and holding opponents under 10 points per game. And that's with the 42 they gave up to Johnny Football and co. factored in. They've given up a grand total of 36 points in their other seven games combined. It's going to be really interesting to see how these two units match up. On the opposite side of the ball, Alabama's offense hasn't really lived up to expectations but then neither has LSU's defense which has struggled to contain some of the better running teams they've faced like Georgia and Ole Miss. If Bama can pound the ball on the Tigers, they should win. That plus the fact that it's at home and Nick Saban is like ten times the coach Les Miles is makes it almost impossible for me to pick LSU in this one as much as I'd love to.

Hobbitcore sez: Alabama

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

nineinchnails Mix CD

So at the very last minute an old friend of mine who works at the BB&T Center was able to snag me an extra ticket to see the almighty NIИ live in concert. It was my first time ever seeing NIИ live and it definitely did not disappoint. I'll have a full review up soon but for now, I was inspired to craft this sweet mix CD of 20th century NIИ songs (their 21st century material doesn't really do it for me). Enjoy!

1. Pinion
2. Wish
3. Mr. Self Destruct
4. Somewhat Damaged
5. The Day the World Went Away
6. Heresy
7. March of the Pigs
8. Something I Can Never Have (Still)
9. The Frail
10. The Wretched
11. We're In This Together
12. The Fragile
13. Just Like You Imagined
14. Dead Souls
15. Head Like a Hole
16. Terrible Lie
17. Hurt

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Hobbitcore's College Football Corner (Week 10)

Had my worst week of the year last year. The games are getting harder and harder to predict, as they almost always do at this time of the year.

Last Week
Overall: 2-3
Upsets: 0-1

Overall: 42-11
Upsets: 9-5

3:30pm -- #21 Michigan @ #22 Michigan State -- ABC

This is one of those fascinating matchups where one team (Michigan) has a solid offense but no defense and the other team (MSU) has a great defense but no offense. I love these matchups because not only will it be interesting to see Michigan's offense take on Sparty's D but I love watching the other side of the ball to see who can screw up least. What makes this even more difficult to pick is that while I feel confident that Sparty's D is better than Michigan's offense, I also feel confident that the Spartan offense is significantly worse than the Wolverines' defense. At the end of the day, I think MSU's defense makes enough plays on a mistake-prone Michigan offense to put their own offense in good enough position to squeak out a win at home.

Hobbitcore sez: Michigan State

3:30pm -- Georgia v. Florida -- CBS

Joe Tessitore had a great line on CFB Daily about this game: "The World's Largest Outdoor Infirmary." This is such a tough one to pinpoint with both teams decimated by injuries and relegated to mediocrity as a result. My gut is telling me to go with Aaron Murray but my brain is telling me his receivers can't possibly match up with the Gators' secondary. I'm going with my gut.

Hobbitcore sez: Georgia

7:00pm -- #18 Oklahoma State @ #15 Texas Tech -- FOX

This is another tough one. Both teams have the ability to put up a lot of points, OSU on the ground and TTU through the air. Last week, Oklahoma racked up 277 yards on the ground with FIVE players rushing for 35 yards or more and Oklahoma State is averaging about 166 yards per game on the ground this year with 19 rushing TDs. They'll be able to keep up with the Red Raiders on the scoreboard because they'll keep them off the field just long enough to win a shootout in Lubbock.

Hobbitcore sez: Oklahoma State

8:00pm -- #7 Miami (FL) @ #3 Florida State -- ABC (UPSET ALERT)

Florida State is a 21 point favorite in this one. 21 points in a matchup of unbeaten top 10 Miami and Florida State. No one is giving the Canes a chance in this game and if there's one thing we know about the Canes it's that when no one gives them a chance--especially in the biggest game of the year by far--is when they shine the brightest. The Canes will want to make this one messy and force as many turnovers as they can. I still don't think they have enough to match up with the ridiculously talented FSU skill position players but I sure as hell don't think they'll lose by three scores.

Hobbitpick: Florida State 23, Miami 20

Saturday, October 26, 2013


OK. The whole "Road to Hell in a Cell" thing kinda went off a cliff, so-to-speak. What can I tell you? I've been a busy guy lately. But I promise I'm going to make it up to you--and here's how: first of all, with this in-depth preview of the Hell in a Cell PPV, going match-by-match to unravel the story behind it (if any) and prognosticate on what might happen, what should happen, and what will happen; then, on Sunday, I will be tweeting LIVE from Section 306 of the American Airlines Arena at HELL IN A CELL 2013 starting at 7pm (my Twitter handle is @bioponic); and finally, the following morning, I will be posting a full recap of Hell in a Cell right here at! So without further ado, let's get right to it...

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match -- Curtis Axel (c) v. Big E Langston (Pre-Show)

How We Got Here: That's a good question, actually. Basically, CM Punk had a match with Big E to gear up for Ryback and after Punk defeated Big E, Heyman diminished the victory, referring to Langston as a "marginally talented rookie barely out of the NXT division." Punk and Big E faced off again on Raw and after the match, Axel and Ryback attacked Punk. Big E thought that was kinda uncool and was also still a little peeved about the whole "marginally talented" thing and came to Punk's aid which led to Vickie making a tag team match with Punk and Big E taking on RybAxel which Punk-E won. That's really about it. The match was made shortly thereafter.

What Might Happen: It's the pre-show so all bets are kinda off for this one. The IC belt has been collecting dust on Curtis Axel for a while now and Big E is exactly the kind of guy who could really use a mid-level title right now to push him over the top and get him into some meaningful feuds. I can't for the life of me imagine Curtis Axel getting a clean win here because it's time for him to drop the belt and Big E is the perfect guy to drop it to so it's gotta be either a dirty win for Axel setting up a future rematch or a straight up Big E win.

What Should Happen: Big E should win the title. Whatever happens, there will likely be a rematch and if you're planning on having Axel drop the belt to Big E, sooner is better than later. I would even be OK with Axel getting a dirty win in a rematch and winning the belt back temporarily so as to not bury him completely but the IC title is desperately in need of some heat and Axel dropping it to Big E will do the trick.

What Will Happen: Again, anything can happen on the pre-show but you're also more likely than not to see a heel champion retain by cheating, especially a guy with Paul Heyman in his corner. I wouldn't be surprised if Big E won by DQ or countout or if Axel cheats to win and either of those scenarios sets up a rematch on Raw where Axel drops the belt.

WWE Divas Championship Match -- AJ Lee (c) v. Brie Bella

How We Got Here: AJ pipebombed the "Total Divas" into smithereens and they didn't like it much so they set out to prove her wrong. Brie beat AJ once. Also she got engaged to the most popular guy on the show so now WWE thinks that makes her important. That about brings us up to speed.

What Might Happen: If Brie Bella wins the Divas title I will hurl myself over the balcony of the American Airlines Arena.

What Should Happen: If Brie Bella wins the Divas title I will hurl myself over the balcony of the American Airlines Arena.

What Will Happen: If Brie Bella wins the Divas title I will hurl myself over the balcony of the American Airlines Arena.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match -- BRHODES (c) v. Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns v. The Usos

How We Got Here: Oh, boy. Well, it all started when Cody Rhodes had the nerve to question some of HHH's decisions, leading the benevolent Hunter to give Cody the "opportunity" to not get fired if he could just beat Randy Orton. He didn't and was summarily fired. Goldust then came back and took on Orton for the chance to get Cody his job back and he came up short as well. Then dear old dad got involved when Stephanie McMahon offered him a "business proposition": choose whether Cody or Goldust would get their job back. He told her to go to hell, so she had Big Show knock him out. Finally, The Authority gave the Rhodes family one last chance when Cody and Goldust took on Rollins and Reigns to get both their jobs back and were successful in what many are calling one of the best matches of the year. Not too long after that, having already beaten them once, Cody and Goldust got an opportunity to take on Rollins and Reigns with the tag titles on the line. Jimmy and Jey Uso weren't exactly thrilled about this since they had been the #1 contenders for weeks. Anyway, in one of the greatest matches ever on Raw, BRhodes ended up winning the tag titles with a small assist from Big Show (who had been fired earlier in the show for knocking out HHH the previous week). The next week on Raw, for some reason the Usos actually had to fight Rollins and Reigns for a title shot even though they were already the #1 contenders but the match ended in a no contest, setting up what promises to be an EPIC Tag Title match at Hell in a Cell.

What Might Happen: I'm beyond thrilled to say that I have absolutely no idea what might happen in this match. Any of these three teams are absolutely over enough to get a win here--BRhodes and Shield have torn the house completely down the last two times they met and Usos are poised to finally rocket through the glass ceiling. It's certainly more likely that BRhodes or Shield will walk out with the titles but I'm not counting out the Usos by any means.

What Should Happen: I'm honestly absolutely OK with whatever happens in this match. My biggest hope is that whoever wins gets a clean win and that if Big Show gets involved, his involvement is minimal and doesn't actually cost anyone the match so much as even the odds if Dean Ambrose (or even Orton or HHH) tries to intervene. But as long as this is the solid 4-star match we all know it can be, I'm good. But I'm not too worried about that because...

What Will Happen: will be. Both BRhodes and the Usos have done more than enough phenomenal work and had more than enough memorable moments in the ring with the Shield to convince us without a shadow of a doubt that they are fully capable of putting on a 4.5-star caliber match with enough effort. I have no doubt in my mind that this match will steal the show and no matter who wins, the big winners will be the fans yet again.

Handicap Hell in a Cell Match -- CM Punk v. Ryback and Paul Heyman

How We Got Here: I suppose it all started at Night of Champions when CM Punk faced Heyman and Axel in a handicap elimination match. Punk eliminated Axel and got his hands on Heyman but Ryback came to the rescue, putting Punk through a table and plopping Heyman's handcuffed carcass on top of Punk for the three-count. As it turns out, Ryback doesn't much care for "bollies" and couldn't stand to see Punk "bolly" Heyman any more. In his seemingly neverending quest to "finally" get his hands on Heyman (for like the eighth time), Punk took on Ryback at Battleground, which was basically an episode of Raw so it doesn't really count. Then on Raw recently, they devised this really random and pointless "Beat the Clock" stipulation where if Ryback beat R-Truth faster than Punk beat Curtis Axel, Heyman could choose any match he wanted for Hell in a Cell (he wanted Punk v. Ryback and Axel) but if Punk won faster, he got to choose. Well, guess who won. But instead of picking something, y'know, interesting--I still say he should have made a match with Ryback where if he won, he got Heyman in the Cell--he chose to bogart Heyman's idea but instead make it basically the same match from Night of Champions only not an elimination match, with Ryback in place of Axel, and inside the Cell.

What Might Happen: I mean, I'm still trying to figure out what WWE thinks is compelling about this match at all. HIAC is always billed as the PPV where feuds end so I'm guessing this will somehow end with Punk destroying Heyman inside the Cell but it's hard to see how he takes Ryback out. He has been playing up this line of him being smarter than Heyman so maybe he'll figure out a way to lock Ryback out of the Cell with him and Heyman in it. We also haven't seen or heard from Brock Lesnar since SummerSlam which is a big reason this feud has lost some heat so I wouldn't be surprised to see him intervene, especially since the last time WWE was at the AAA was Brock's big return after WrestleMania XXVIII to challenge Cena.

What Should Happen: First and foremost, Punk should get his hands on Heyman, beat him to a bloody pulp, and end this feud already. I thought I would want this to go on forever but it's gotten old and stale. Punk needs to turn his attention elsewhere (like the WWE title pretty pretty pretty please) and Heyman should torment him from the periphery, leading to a rematch with Lesnar and eventually a rubber match at WrestleMania.

What Will Happen: Expect the unexpected. There really isn't anything remarkable about this match that gives any real hints about how it will play out so I'm holding out hope that WWE has something wildly unexpected in their bag of tricks (like a Brock Lesnar return). I certainly expect Punk to win the match and probably to beat the everloving hell out of Heyman in the Cell. But at this point, that feels strangely unsatisfying. Either the feud reaches an unsatisfying conclusion at HIAC or Brock returns to bring the heat back to the feud. That's my pick and I'm sticking to it.

World Heavyweight Championship Match -- Alberto Del Rio (c) v. John Cena

How We Got Here: Vickie Guerrero wanted to screw with Alberto Del Rio. Seriously. That's it. It's not like there are several other guys with legitimate claims to a shot at the WHC right now or anything (one of whom isn't doing FUCKING ANYTHING right now and isn't even wrestling on the PPV [Ziggler]). None of that matters because John Cena is John Cena and he gets a WHC shot after not being on TV for 2 months because John Cena. (Actually, you could make the argument that Cena technically never got his rematch for the WWE title he lost at SummerSlam and the WHC is kind of a consolation prize in that sense.)

What Might Happen: This has Money in the Bank cash-in written all over it. Cena got shoehorned into this match because he's John Cena and Vickie wanted to piss off Del Rio. There has been no feud to speak of. The only hype for this match has come in the way of videotaped John Cena vignettes. One about his incredible roid (er, road) to recovery or whatever. The other about his entire epic career rife with overcoming of obstacles and whatnot. Last time WWE hyped up a PPV match with videotaped vignettes it was Christian's "one last match" against Del Rio and he lost. In a million years I can't imagine WWE booking Cena to lose to Del Rio but I can imagine him "overcoming the odds" to beat Del Rio, Del Rio flipping his shit and slapping Cena's bad arm in the cross armbreaker post-match, leading Sandow to cash in. The announcers have been questioning for weeks whether Cena is coming back too soon and whether or not he's ready. That combined with the immense amount of hype they're giving him with the taped vignettes make the possibility of a Sandow cash-in very real.

What Should Happen: Let's just put it this way: if you see a sign in the crowd at HIAC that says "IF SANDOW DOESN'T CASH IN, WE RIOT", that will be me.

What Will Happen: The only thing stopping me from saying that my above dream scenario will definitely happen is the fact that WWE very often fails to recognize the obvious answer staring them directly in the face. A Sandow cash-in is really the only thing that makes this match make sense but I've long since given up on relying on WWE to do the thing that makes the most sense. For all I know, Sandow could cash in and lose because the first rule of WWE is John Cena and the second rule of WWE is John Cena...

Los Matadores v. Real Americans

How We Got Here: Los Matadores are hispanic. Zeb Colter is racist. El Torito gored him in the butt. Hell in a Cell needed one more match for some reason.

What Might Happen: Well, at least they're not fighting 3MB for the 18th time. It seems pretty obvious they're setting up a three-way tag match that includes El Torito and Zeb. For now, this match is likely meant to put Los Matadores over and develop the feud. As much as I'd love to see the most underrated tag team in pro graps finally pick up a win after jobbing to pretty much everyone since they came together, it's probably not going to happen. Hopefully we'll at least get to see Cesaro giant swing all three of Los Matadores or even maybe UFO a motherfucker.

What Should Happen: A Cesaro UFO for one thing but failing that, I'd selfishly love to see Vickie or Mad Braddox intervene make the three-way tag after interference from Zeb and/or Torito. Real Americans deserve a damn win also but I'm not holding my breath.

What Will Happen: Los Matadores will win and Zeb will probably claim they won "EELEGALLY" setting up the three-way rematch at Survivor Series.

WWE Championship Hell in a Cell Match -- Daniel Bryan v. Randy Orton (w/ special guest referee Shawn Michaels)

How We Got Here: It all started at SummerSlam when Daniel Bryan vanquished the mighty John Cena to become WWE champion only to be Pedigreed by HHH and cashed in on by Randy Orton. HHH explained that he did what's best for business and that Randy Orton should be the face of the WWE. Daniel Bryan got a rematch at Night of Champions and won but due to a fast count, he had the title stripped and it has been "in a state of abeyance" ever since. Bryan and Orton got a rematch at Battleground but Big Show was sent to knock out Daniel Bryan and then proceeded to snap and knock out everyone else, leading to yet another non-finish.

What Might Happen: Well, for starters, if someone doesn't walk out of Miami as the legitimate champion, AAA might actually burn to the ground. Considering how overwhelmingly over Bryan has gotten and the ridiculously long, circuitous journey he's been on since SummerSlam and the fact that Miami is the place where "YES!" chants first became a thing (the night after WrestleMania XXVIII when everyone was PISSED Bryan lost the WHC in under 10 seconds), I can't imagine that he won't win this match. He deserves, more than anyone, to have a culmination to this journey and a REAL WWE title reign after previous reigns of about 10 minutes and roughly 21 hours. There is, of course, still fear lurking in my heart of hearts that despite the fact that Bryan is 10 times as over as every other guy on the roster combined, WWE truly doesn't think D-Bry can be the top guy, let alone the public face of the company. Also, there's a MUCH-better-than-even chance that Big Show will get involved in this match somehow, as will the Shield and HHH. I wouldn't be surprised to see HBK lay HHH out with Sweet Chin Music to set up a grudge match between them (even though it might literally break Shawn Michaels into pieces).

What Should Happen: Daniel Bryan should make Randy Orton tap out on top of the Cell after a 45 minute war that sees the Shield climb on top of the cage, infiltrate from the top, beat up D-Bry, prompting Big Show to run out (bonus points if Mark Henry or Kane comes with him), rip the door off the cage, beat the shit out of the Shield while Bryan and Orton climb out of the hole Shield made, brawl on top of the Cell, Bryan hits the Busaiku knee, puts Orton in the Yes! Lock, and Orton taps. Again I stress that Big Show's involvement should ONLY be to level the playing field, NOT to help Bryan pick up the win. Failing my dream scenario, as long as Bryan makes Orton tap, I'm going home a very happy man. I'll even settle for a pin off the Busaiku knee but he's already knocked him out once and he hasn't won a big match by submission in a while so I'd love to see him make Orton tap.

What Will Happen: Probably what everyone expects to happen: Bryan is about to win, Shield and/or HHH interfere, Big Show stops them, Bryan wins. The build up has been too long and arduous for WWE to get too cute with this and outsmart themselves. They know the whole world wants Bryan to be champion and they've teased it long enough. "YES!"-mania will culminate where it began, right here in the 305!

Hobbitcore's College Football Corner (Week 9)

I know, I know, I've been gone a long time. I've been a busy man these last couple weeks. I'm also starting to realize that it's time to dramatically reimagine these posts. They simply take up too much of my time and I always seem to either barely get it posted before noon Saturday or not even make it and have to post a half-assed version until I finish--and sometimes I don't even post it at all. So I'm taking a pair of scissors to this column.

First of all, no more headlines. Coming up with headlines every week is always the most time-consuming part and it's really not important enough to continue doing it. So from now on, it will be straight to the picks.

Also, all the crap at the bottom--the Heisman ballot, out-of-whack spreads, BCS projections--is out too. Maybe when we start getting down to the last few weeks I'll start making separate posts about the Heisman and the BCS but predicting it every week is pointless. I also won't be making picks for totally uninteresting games just because they're on TV. If at least one ranked team is involved, I'll at least consider making a pick, but if that one ranked team is top 10 and it's going to be a blowout, forget it.

Last but not least, I'm going to keep the blurbs about each game to a bare minimum as much as possible. If there's nothing to say about a particular game, I'll say so. If there's a lot to say, I'll keep it as short as possible. I will still be doing upset alerts and will bring back the Game of the Week but I won't be doing the "keys to the game" thing.

In fact, in an emergency, don't be surprised to just see a list of games and my picks for them.

Anyway...try to enjoy the column without all that window dressing. I know it's for the best.

Three Weeks Ago
Overall: 8-0
Upsets: 2-2 (Stanford and FSU won in blowouts, so those are losses)

Overall: 40-8
Upsets: 9-4


Saturday, October 5, 2013

Hobbitcore's College Football Corner (Week 6)

Last Week
Overall: 6-2
Upsets: 2-0

Overall: 32-8
Upsets: 7-2


-This is getting ri-god-damn-diculous. Now the NCAA's obsession with amateur athletes not getting ANY compensation whatsoever has reached a point where an Alabama assistant has been placed on indefinite leave for giving a loan of less than $500 to Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. Because GOD FOR-FUCKING-BID a kid with no money take a few hundred bucks from a coach to feed himself or pay rent. Can't have that shit. Ugh.

-As many of you may know, next year begins the four-team playoff. The four teams will be selected by a selection committee much like the committee that chooses the 68-team field. Now, according to ESPN sources, Condoleezza Rice is going to be on the committee. There are way too many jokes forming in my head right now.

-Last Saturday's LSU/Georgia matchup sure didn't disappoint as we were treated to our first instant classic of the season--a 44-41 Georgia win that wasn't sealed until less than a minute left. Both QBs looked more than ready to play on Sundays. My biggest problem is how far LSU dropped in the polls. They lost by 3 points in the final minute to a Georgia team that's already beaten South Carolina and whose only loss was on the road in Week 1 to the #3 team in the nation. And yet they dropped to #10 in the AP poll and #11 in the USA Today/Coaches poll. I want the names and emails of every journalist and every coach who thinks Texas A&M, Florida State, and Louisville can beat LSU (and especially every coach who also thinks Oklahoma can beat them).


Monday, September 30, 2013

The Road to #HELLINACELL -- Week 2 (Raw 9/23)


Come on, dude: So we open Raw with the 10 guys who saved Daniel Bryan on Raw last week (RVD, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, The Usos, Primetime Players, R-Truth, Zach Ryder, and Justin Gabriel, whom I will henceforth refer to as the Proletariat) all lined up on stage for what appears to be another of Hunter's delightful town hall meetings.  Trips and Steph come out and WELCOME the crowd to MONDAY NIGHT RAW like so many Vinces past, complete with Steph all-too-conspicuously dropping a cheap "GREAT TO BE HERE IN (CURRENT CITY)!"  Long story short, it turns out they brought the Proletariat out to thank them for "taking matters into [their] own hands" and "finally being men" as if this were all some elaborate test.  HHH adds that he's sure it had nothing to do with Daniel Bryan but RVD cuts him off to inform him that they were, in fact, fighting for D-Bry.  "Wow," HHH exclaims, musing that he's never heard of a wrestler fighting FOR another wrestler to be champion rather than fighting to BECOME champ.  An increasingly-less-rare valid point for 3xH but nonetheless he decides to give the Proletariat what they want, which of course is a match similar to the one Vickie made on Smackdown except equally unfair the other way--an 11-on-3 handicap elimination match against the Shield.  Hunter explains that the reasons the Proletariat are upset are all the fault of the Shield who have "run roughshod" over the WWE "since they walked in the door", totally throwing them under the bus to placate the Proletariat.  Check out the "wtf Hunter" faces on the Shield at the end of this segment...priceless:

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Hobbitcore's College Football Corner (Week 5)

Last Week
Overall: 8-2
Upsets: 2-1 (Wisconsin wasn't even close to an upset so that's the loss)

Overall: 26-6
Upsets: 5-2


-This week's biggest headline happened off the field when Electronic Arts (EA) Sports announced Thursday that there would be no college football video game next year (what would have been "NCAA Football '15") due to ongoing legal issues with the NCAA.  Basically, several organizations including EA and the NCAA are being sued by thousands of student-athletes both past and present for the use of their names and/or likenesses in "NCAA Football."  Every organization has settled but the NCAA, who vows to continue the fight to keep their slaves--er, student ath-o-leets--from seeing any of the massive profits they generate for any number of organizations including the NCAA themselves.  Moreover, it remains unclear whether the plaintiffs who are active student athletes will be allowed under NCAA rules to collect the settlement money or if it will be set aside. hereby expresses our solidarity with the fast-growing "All Players United" (APU) movement calling for reforms to the antiquated NCAA rules outlawing player compensation and also calling upon the NCAA to dedicate more attention to issues of player safety--specifically concussions.

And, in the words of Pat Forde:

Shame on Northwestern, Georgia Tech for trying to stifle 'All Players United' movement

-That was pretty much the only headline in what has to be one of the WORST WEEKS OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL EVER.  Jesus Christ.  I mean, I'm probably one of the biggest college football fans on Earth and even I was bored out of my mind this past Saturday.  Thank the Football Gods that this week is here to save us from the mind-numbing drudgery of last week's lineup of games.

-In fact, last week was so dull that the most interesting thing that happened was that it was BLOWOUT DAY IN FLORIDA!  No, but seriously, with the exception of FAU losing in OT and Florida's 14-point win over Tennessee, there were four games last week that involved at least one team from Florida and the combined score of those games was...wait for it...
to be specific...
-Ohio State 76, Florida A&M 0 (A&M had 80 total yards)
-Louisville 72, Florida International 0 (FIU had 30 total yards...THIRTY...LESS THAN HALF THE NUMBER OF POINTS LOUISVILLE SCORED...but yeah, good call firing Mario Cristobal, guys...)
-Miami (FL) 77, Savannah State 7 (this was the score at the end of the third was so bad, both coaches agreed to a 12 minute 4th quarter...some guy named Gray Crow completed all six of his passes and threw a touchdown...he is the third string QB...I was surprised to learn that he's even on scholarship)
-Florida State 54, Bethune-Cookman 6

Mercifully, this week is chock full of intriguing matchups...sooo...