Derrick's Monday Sports Section

   by Derrick Mustelier

Our schedule for the day:

TicketCity Bowl: #19 Houston @ #22 Penn State
Outback Bowl: #17 Michigan State @ #16 Georgia
Capital One Bowl: #20 Nebraska @ #9 South Carolina
Gator Bowl: Ohio State @ Florida
Rose Bowl: #10 Wisconsin @ #5 Oregon
Fiesta Bowl: #4 Stanford @ #3 Oklahoma State
12:00 -- TicketCity Bowl Begins

(12:09): As I was typing this, Case Keenum just threw a freaking RAINBOW to score the first TD in the TicketCity Bowl in under two minutes game time.  This kid may be as good an NFL prospect as any QB in the country right now.

(12:24): Not for nothing, but if I threw the ball like 60 times every game I'd probably be pretty accurate too #CaseKeenum

(12:28): Does anyone else kinda wish Penn State was playing Notre Dame right now? #ChildRapeBowl

(12:32): What does it say about this college football season that Penn State is actually ranked?

(12:35): I keep waiting for the chance to make my "Houston finally runs the ball for the first time at the ____ mark" but it's just not happening for me...

(12:38): Can Houston win this game by throwing the ball all over the place and playing field position with Penn State's anemic offense?  It sure looks like it right now.  Penn State seems like they hate throwing as much as Houston hates running.

(12:40): OK.  Houston is now up 17-0 and STILL has YET to run the ball.  Why is Penn State ranked again?  Something about their defense?  Their clunky Big Ten defense can't handle this attack.

(12:45): To be fair, it's not difficult to see why Penn State doesn't want to throw the ball.  This guy Bolden has Tim Tebow's arm.


(12:50): 17-0 Houston at the end of the first.  Case Keenum is putting on a clinic, especially in the short passing game.  He has 227 yards and 2 TDs already.  This guy could run the West Coast Offense like a champ in the NFL.  Terrific anticipation on short throws and throws amazingly on the run (right before I updated about their first running play, I was about to post about a BEAUTIFUL off-balance, fall-away throw off his back foot that he LASERED in for a completion and a first down.

(12:53): Keenum with Houston's second running play of the game picks up 9 yards and a first down with his feet.

(12:57): about to enter BEAST MODE as the 1 o'clock games start...probably won't come back to the Houston game again unless Penn State, you know, gets a first down...

1:00 -- Capital One Bowl, Outback Bowl, and Gator Bowl Begin

(1:00): Oh GOD!  Joe Tessitore and Rod Gilmore are doing the Capital One Bowl.  It's either that or watch the Gators and Buckeyes and hope a bomb explodes in the stadium (but at least I could enjoy Mike Patrick).

(1:06): South Carolina QB Connor Shaw somehow gives up a sack after spending several weeks in the pocket...

(1:08): Both South Carolina and Nebraska both have some seriously monstrous fun to watch...
(1:09): As I say that, SC's secondary gets ROASTED.  7-0 Huskers.

(1:11): Speaking of great defense, Michigan State and Georgia cracking helmets on ABC.  Unfortunately it's being called by Mike Tirico and (UGH) Jon Gruden...

(1:13): Brandon Boykin with INSANE instincts and a perfect form tackle to pick up a safety for Georgia.  Wow.  NFL Scouts are drooling over this kid right now.

(1:15): Wow, apparently I missed a South Carolina safety too.  Has that ever happened?  Two safeties within minutes of each other.

(1:16): Connor Shaw just went nuts on Nebraska's front seven.  But only because his receivers can't get open to save their lives against this Nebraska secondary.

(1:19): Perhaps predictably, not a fucking thing has happened in the Gator Bowl #PSFuckUrbanMeyer

(1:22): HUGE fourth down coming up in the Capital One Bowl after the commercial break.  Hope they go for it.  That's what bowl games are all about.

(1:23): Connor Shaw sneaks it in for the touchdown!  9-6 Gamecocks.  I LOVE BOWL GAMES!

(1:26): I feel kinda bad for Jeff Demps and Chris Rainey.  If Percy Harvin played on this Gator team I don't even know if he would have been drafted.

(1:27): Another big fourth down.  Georgia goes for it inside the 10. Spartans entire line gets into the backfield somehow and completely blows up the play.  Brutal.

(1:29): Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez trying to throw the ball is like Elaine trying to dance on Seinfeld.

(1:33): South Carolina just wipes out one of the most perfect punts I've ever seen...the ball literally hit the ground at like the one inch line and bounced back to about the 5...I've never yelled out loud because of a punt but that was unreal...

(1:34): Taylor Martinez trying to run the ball is like a fucking demon looking for souls to harvest...

(1:35): Defenses are wreaking havoc in all three games I'm watching right now.  Not a fun day if you're one of these people that needs good offense to enjoy yourself.  Thankfully, I'm not.

(1:37): As I say that Aaron Murray drops one in a bucket for a 60 yard gain...this kid has some serious potential...

(1:45): Jon Gruden: "I think I'm gonna become an agent and go knock on his door"--excellent work, Jon...encouraging keep it classy, big guy!

(1:47): First time today that all three games I'm watching are at a commercial.  I like to make a wish when that happens.  It's always the same wish: no more commercials ever again

(1:49): Aflac Trivia Question: "Michigan State and Georgia both have two players who are in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  Who are they?"  Hmmm...well Herschel Walker is a no-brainer.  Bubba Smith.  That's all I can think of...

(1:54): Case Keenum has 380 yards passing and 3 the first half...I now know all I need to know about that game...glad I'm not watching

(1:55): Connor Shaw has the worst pocket presence ever.  That's the second time today I've seen him take a sack after standing in the pocket for an ETERNITY.  Give credit to Nebraska's secondary which is NFL caliber but dude, seriously, THROW THE THING AWAY!

(2:02): If you don't love watching SEC defenses...I just...I don't know what to do for you.  SC lays a BIG hit right square on the football and it pops way up in the air...SC ball...Connor Shaw unloads one on the very next play to Alshon Jeffrey who absolutely SCORCHES his man for like 80 yards...

(2:04): Right on cue a delay of game penalty on 3rd and goal forces SC to settle for 3...huge win for Nebraska...

(2:05): BOINK!

(2:10): Aaron Murray has quietly gone 12/14 for 105 yards on a very good Michigan State defense.  Depending on how many Tide and Tigers declare for the draft, this team might be my favorite in the SEC next year...

(2:12): Jon Gruden: "If you run a 3-4 defense, you GOTTA have a nose tackle..."  Mind: BLOWN

(2:15): Aaron Murray rolls out to his right and drops a BOMB from 80 yards out to Tavares King who was like 2-3 steps behind the secondary...WOW!

(2:16): First SEC chants of the game heard in the Georgia game :)

(2:18): Aflac Trivia Question: "What is the most points scored in a Steve-Spurrier-Coached Bowl Game?"  I know this one: 62-24 Nebraska over Florida in the 1996 Fiesta Bowl (yes I know they already showed the answer but it's not my fault they jumped the gun like assholes)

(2:21): Did that really just happen?  Halftime hail mary by South Carolina?  Did I mention I FUCKING LOVE BOWL GAMES?!?!  16-13 Gamecocks at the half

(2:22): I switch to the Outback Bowl and Brandon Boykin just completely GASHES the Spartans' punt coverage for 92 yards and a touchdown.  I'm getting exhausted just trying to keep updating this thing!

(2:27): OK Halftime Food Break!!!

(2:46): AND WE'RE BACK with Taylor Martinez gashing the SC defense before making just about the DUMBEST PASS EVER as he was being sacked like 15 yards behind the line which landed in another player's hands around the same distance from the line of

(3:06): That Aaron Murray INT is all on the WR...Jeffrey shouldn't come off his man unless Murray crosses the line of scrimmage.  The QB rule is "always keep your eyes downfield" and the opposite applies to receivers.  Until he's running or sacked, you work to get open.

(3:08): Jon Gruden: 'You only need one foot in college football' (as the guy proceeds to take like three steps in bounds)

(3:09): Le'Veon Bell just smashed Brandon Boykin in the face like 5 times and the dude NEVER let him go...eesh...

(3:12): PHENOMENAL drive by Michigan State capped by a two-point conversion that was WIDE open in the end zone and all the sudden we've got a ball game in the Outback...

(3:17): FUCK I just missed a fight that got two of the best players in the Capital One Bowl kicked out.  I need two TVs.  Seriously.

(3:19): How scary is it to be a QB with JaDaveon Clowney on one end and Melvin Ingram on the other?  I would take a knee on every play.  Even running plays.

(3:24): Was that little Alshon Jeffrey scuffle REALLY worth throwing two guys out of a bowl game over?  Come on.  This is what college ball is all about.

(3:29): HOLY SHIT!  Aaron Murray just threw an absolute Tebow straight into the defender's hands and there was NO ONE between him and 6.  But Georgia comes up HUGE on the two-point conversion, getting into the backfield and blowing up the play.  Remember to breathe.  16-14 Georgia.

(3:33): Brandon Boykin is a MACHINE.  Offense, defense, and special teams.  See you on Sundays, Brandon.


(4:02): ABSOLUTELY UNREAL THROW by Aaron Murray and the Dawgs are in the red zone again!  I mean he fucking threaded a needle from about 40 yards.  Good lord.

(4:04): BRANDON BOYKIN AGAIN!  THIS GUY IS UNBELIEVABLE!  27-20 Georgia.  Boykin has three NFL agents at his front door.

(4:10): Sparty pulls the HB pass out of the bag of tricks.  Wow.  I don't think I've seen two teams that WANT a bowl game that didn't matter SO BAD.

(4:11): Think about this for a second and try not to get a nosebleed: Brandon Boykin has scored 14 of Georgia's 27 points today--6 on offense, 2 on defense, 6 on special teams.  Yeah.

(4:13): This might be one of the best bowl games I've ever seen.

(4:19): VERY smart challenge by D'Antonio here.  Stops the clock while they look at it and it's OBVIOUSLY incomplete so that will stop the clock for good.

(4:23): One last chance.  If I'm Mike D'Antonio, I completely and totally trust Kirk Cousins to take this down the field right now.  He's been here before.

(4:26): Kirk Cousins making every right decision right now.  You can feel it coming...

(4:27): WOW. What a RUN by Cousins!  Picks up blocks to get extra yards and gets out of bounds!  I'm officially on my feet for the rest of the game!!!

(4:29): UNBELIEVABLE EXECUTION BY THE SPARTANS!  THIS IS JUST UNREAL!  Even if this is overturned, this is one of the greatest bowl games of all time, hands down.

(4:34): Let me tell you what I'd call if I was the Spartans right now: play action QB bootleg


(4:40): Not to be a buzzkill here but Jon Gruden is an idiot.  Kirk Cousins is not at all an NFL QB.

(4:45): Speaking of buzzkill, Bakari Rambo just decided to play Buzz Killington and picked off Cousins in the 1st OT.  This all but seals it unless something outrageous happened.  Which has been happening pretty much all day.  So, y'know.

(4:48): Is it me or is this a major flaw in college OT: If you intercept the ball and a personal foul is committed on the return, that penalty is declined "by rule" instead of being assessed on the offense on the next series?  I dunno how I feel about this...


(4:55): Georgia's kicker with a hell of a redemption absolutely NAILING a 47-yarder to take a 30-27 lead.

(5:00): Blitz gets to Cousins and forces a 3rd OT.  Could this possibly get any better?

(5:02): I almost feel bad for these people at the Rose Bowl right now.  They've missed all of this.  Also, they BETTER not start before this is done.

(5:10): These two defenses are engaged in a test of wills right now.  Who wants it more?


5:00 -- Rose Bowl Begins (already in progress)


(5:20): This game could get boring fast.  I have a hunch that Oregon is overmatched in this one.

(5:24): Oregon marches down the field in about 6 seconds and ties it up at 7.  Like I said, this is gonna be a tight one.

(5:29): Montee Ball's nickname should be "Wrecking."                      

(5:32): What a PLAY by Russell Wilson evading pressure and finding Ball down to the 5 and what a THROW.  This kid can play in the NFL I don't care what anyone says about his size.
(5:33): ...and he streaks in on the play action bootleg.  14-7 Badgers.

(5:46): I don't even know that Oregon can stop the Badger running attack with 8 guys in the box...maybe 9...

(5:50): Sweet merciful shitballs...there can't possibly be anyone in college football faster than DeAnthony Thomas.  Wow.  I think the defense is badly burned from those turbo jets on his shoes.  14-14.

(6:01): We're in for another special one here, ladies and gentlemen.  Montee Ball with his 39th TD of the year, tying Barry Sanders's record (that he accomplished in 11 games, not 14, but whatever...) and making it 21-14 Badgers.

(6:05): DeAnthony Thomas BLAZES to almost midfield on the ensuing kickoff and then Derron Thomas finds a streaking Kenyon Barner up the sideline 54 yards to knot things up at 21-21.  I think I'm sweating.

(6:12): Russell Wilson's pocket presence is extraordinary.  He really hangs in there and makes good, smart throws when he's about to get absolutely rocked.

(6:17): HUGE mistake by Wisconsin going for it on 4th down in field goal range and the pass rush gets the best of Russell Wilson.  They're going to sorely miss those three points later on, mark my words...

(6:24): WOW.  Phenomenal play by the Wisconsin defense stripping Derron Thomas in his throwing motion and returning the fumble for a touchdown.  They're looking at it again and I seriously doubt it will be overturned.  28-21 Badgers.

(6:29): The team speed of Oregon is truly something to behold.  I can really see why Erik Spoelstra is modeling the Heat after these guys.

(6:33): I'm kind of amazed that I just heard the word "pageantry" for the first time in this entire broadcast.  This is the Rose Bowl, guys.  That word should have been used at least 10 times already.

(6:35): Oregon takes OVER THREE MINUTES to score--a slow, plodding pace--and we will be going into the locker rooms all knotted up at 28-28.  We got another instant classic on our hands.

(7:10): AND WE'RE BACK with the second half.  Well...the second half started without me.  Boy, did it ever.  DeAnthony Thomas went into 17th gear again and it's 35-28 Oregon.  He is not human.  He has 2 rushes for 155 yards and 2 TDs.  Not bad, eh?

(7:26): First punter sighting in the game with 9:10 left in the 3rd quarter.  It's that kind of day.  A beautiful day.

(7:30): Are the defenses figuring out the offenses?  I'd be kinda surprised to see this one get into the 50s.  These are two proud and talented defenses and two very smart coaching staffs.

(7:36): Just when it looked like the defenses were starting to catch up, Russell Wilson picks up a first down on 3rd and 8 with his legs...and now he throws a bullet to Nick Toon's back shoulder in the corner of the endzone.  That drive was a thing of beauty and it was all Russell Wilson.  I wish he transferred to MY team...

(7:42): Wisconsin is over-pursuing sideline-to-sideline...time to fake a jet sweep and go over the top on 'em.

(7:56): The defenses have ALL the momentum going into the 4th quarter.  This is going to be a very interesting conclusion.  I can't wait to see what the offensive coordinators come up with the inject some life back into their offenses.  Trick plays?  Fake kicks?  Or will the players be the ones to provide the spark?  How will Russell Wilson finish the game?  What about the Oregon speedsters?  DeAnthony Thomas has been quiet in the second half.  Will special teams play a part?  Here we go...

(8:00): HUGE touchdown for Oregon.  42-38 Ducks.  This next possession is the most important possession of the game.  Oregon gets a stop here and this game could change faster than you can blink.  Russell Wilson takes the Badgers down and answers and we're in for a wild finish...

(8:05): Three and out.  This is becoming a dangerous game for Wisconsin...

(8:10): Downfield to Tuinei, this is too easy.  Wisconsin needs to call Kenny Loggins--cuz they're in the DAAANGER ZOOONE!  (Archer reference, wassup)

(8:13): CRUSHING holding penalty on a big play takes the Ducks out of a goal-to-go situation and into 2nd and 20 on the 44...sorry...49...false start...

(8:15): HUUUGE 4th down conversion.  That was big time.  I love bowl games.

(8:20): Field goal on that drive is a win for Oregon.  45-38 Ducks.

(8:22): It's Russell Wilson time.  He will win or lose this game for the Badgers on this drive.

(8:26): ...or that.

(8:28): 1,058 total yards in this game.  What are we going to see in the Fiesta Bowl?  #stoked

8:45 -- Fiesta Bowl Begins

(8:46): Matt Millen is a very good analyst even if he's sometimes kind of an idiot.  I'm mildly excited to hear him analyze Andrew Luck.  Not as excited as I am to analyze him myself though, obviously...

(8:56): Oklahoma State's defense wins round one.

(8:57): ...and now he'll get another chance sooner than expected thanks to an AWFUL decision by Weeden.

(8:59): Matt Millen is an idiot (surprise)...that was so helmet to helmet, my vision is now blurry and I'm sensitive to light...

(9:06): This is turning into last year's championship game.  Both defenses had to hear about how great the opposing offenses are for over a month and are well prepared and highly motivated as a result.

(9:14): I'll give this to Andrew Luck...he's great at hitting a WIIIDE open he's a master of that shit...

(9:24): If I was the Colts, I would 100% draft Tyran Mathieu.

(9:38): I think Stanford wants to try and run the ball tonight. #thingsMattMillenwouldsay

(9:43): Here come the offenses...

(9:58): Maybe the Colts should draft Justin Blackmon now that you mention it...

(10:12): Blackmon is a MAN.  DAMN.

(10:16): This is gonna be one fuck of a second half.  What a day of football.  I love this life I live.  :)

(10:50): Alright I've gone on as long as I could with this thing...I'm gonna go ahead and take this opportunity to sign off and take a shower...


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